His smile didn't quite reach his eyes, she should. Maybe not as upset as he had been when he left that disastrous evening, but but just so that she made a note not to push. Eli was looking to talk about anything else, she figured as much.
"Mhm hm," Chise hummed her ascent as she fell in step beside him.
"Thank you for this," She said. "I've been curious about what's around here but I don't like walking around by myself."
"That's fair, you should make the Admiral take you out. He probably needs some fresh air now and again." Eli led the way, it wasn't very far and right now it was — aside from the pub, Eli's favourite place to drop by. Though, technically, his workplace shouldn't count.
Oh well.
Novi is owned by Wanda, and all Eli really understood about the food is that it is not traditional from this part and that it is delicious.
"You say that as if I could tell him what to do." Chise huffed a soft laugh at the idea.
While it was true Thrawn might need a little time out in the fresh air after what he had been through, Chise wasn't the best candidate. She had only gotten cross with him on Eli's behalf. She didn't have it in her to make lightning strike twice, so to speak.
"Ah-" Chise was momentarily awed by Novi when they came across it. Made up of open glass windows and wood gave the place a very open but rustic feel to it. She was already kicking herself for not finding out about this place sooner.
"Much nicer than the place I work," She said while looking over the menu. "Oh, Eastern European? It's not like home, but I like this sort of food. What do you recommend?"
"You must certainly did." Eli laughs recalling the way Chise suddenly put her metaphorical foot down and even Thrawn had acquiesced to her instructions. "It was impressive."
Eli was scanning the menu, "Uh, well, I just pick something new every time I come here. Right now, I'm at —" He pointed vaguely at something, "— that one, so. I'll take that, but so far everything here is good."
"I really didn't do anything." Chise tucked her chin in and felt a rush of heat creep up her face. Her propensity to only grow a spine on another person's behalf meant it was a short lived event.
At a loss with the menu, Chise just ordered whatever Eli had before finding a seat. With the bakery set up in a way that it was all open windows and wide space, they were lucky to find a little corner table in the back.
"So what do you want to know?" She asked, comfortable enough with this small pocket of privacy they found.
Eli considers Chise's question — what does he want to know? Well, everything. He is curious, at the same time, he's not going to crash headfirst and ask invasive personal questions.
It's harder than he'd like, Eli deliberates his words and settles for half truth half diplomacy. "I want to know everything you're willing to share, but only as long as you're not uncomfortable."
What Eli theorises is that they have more than a few things in common. He wants to test this hypothesis.
Everything she was willing to share. Over the last few weeks, she had come to like Eli; glimpsed a little into his world and the people connected to it. She supposed that was worth the truth. Rhythmically and lightly tapping a fork against the side of her mug, watching her reflection in tea distort into ripples, Chise starts to unpack her life.
"I'm dying."
Nothing in the way Chise admits this isn't touched by much if any emotion. Shoulders slightly slumped forward, attention more preoccupied with stirring milk in her tea, Chise just carries through as though she were complaining about a difficult exam coming up.
"Elias said I had about three years shortly after he..." Chise chews the inside of her lip as she worked out how to explain that part of her life, "Found me. What I can do wrecks the body over a short period of time, and he took me in to experiment with ways to forestall it. Before that, I was drifting in and out of places filled with people who thought I was strange and unlucky."
The tea was actually really good, she thought. Taking a moment from unloading her life story on an acquaintance to see if that was cardamom she was tasting.
"Elias wanted to understand people, and I just wanted a chance to be useful for once. No one else wanted me, and none of Elias's peers care for him either." She continued after a spell.
What stunned Eli more was the blasé way in which Chise mentioned this. As if truly was of no importance; Eli is familiar with combat, as part of the military he is liable to get injured or killed. He's never thought about it in depth, partially because under Thrawn's guidance he trusted him to not get Eli or the rest of the crew killed.
And Elias did what the fucking flying kriffing hell?
His expression remains carefully neutral except for the steady climb of his eyebrows as Chise goes on. There were undeniable parallels between Thrawn and Elias but this?
He was going to have words with Thrawn about Chise at some point. For her well-being. It wasn't pity but a sort of indignation skirting the edges of anger, a very Eli reaction when confronted with clearly unfair things.
Mentally listing what he ought to say in reply, Eli found his choices unsatisfactory. His powers couldn't heal or bring back the dead, and his reassurances had been surely given to Chise by other people before.
Another dollop of cream takes her tea from a smokey chestnut color to something more closer matching the soft brown hue of Eli's complexion. This was nice, she thought. A chance to just sit and talk with little to worry about. Chise looked down at her tea again, then back at Eli.
"I suppose I- hmm?"
The way Eli was looking at her slammed the breaks on her train of thought. For a Moment, she thought she did something wrong.
"Elias is not the only one who wants you now."
Chise blinked while the rest of her froze solid save for the stuttering feeling in her heart. She thought of Kanan, and all the others here who had greeted her. Spoken with her. Included her.
Now that Eli was saying as much, she was starting to believe that.
"That's kind of you," She replied almost reluctantly before going back to her tea. "I didn't mean to alarm you, really. If anything I think being here is stalling things."
Chancing a smile, she says, "Thrawn is lucky to have a friend like you."
Eli didn't think it as being king, just as it being kriffing basic decency. Seriously, what was wrong with the galaxy?
Again, Eli is unsure of what to say — he sort of feels like he put his foot in his mouth by asking Chise about her past. Regardless of how accepting she seems to be of it, it had to be more complicated than that.
He takes a sip of his tea, not bothering to put sugar or milk, and nearly chokes on the lucky and friend. Oh.
Oh.
Well.
"Honestly? I'm the lucky one to have been able to learn from him. Elias is lucky to know you." Whether he deserved to was debatable to Eli right now.
Fortunately, depending on your point of view, it was that kriffing basic decency that earned Thrawn and Eli an ace in the hole currently blowing the steam off her tea. Chise was happy to tag along with either of them because they were nice, and that was all she really needed.
Passing a napkin over Eli's way when his tea doesn't go down as smooth as it should, Chise offered an apologetic little smile.
She doesn't really want to approach the topic of Elias right now. So it was with a pang of guilt she asked,
The bar was rather low then, at least Eli was decent enough not to take advantage of Chise. Her abilities were of acknowledged but they were power and Eli didn't seek power. Thrawn, however, was a strategist first and foremost.
Between them they are carefully passing and deflecting questions and topics; Eli can tell and he is pretty sure so can she. It is not a problem.
The first instinct is to get defensive. Story of Eli's life: getting angry at people who misjudge Thrawn.
Eli would have liked to be able to say that their hate has no basis. That Thrawn is simply doing his duty as required by the Imperial Navy. Unfortunately, Eli has seen Kanan's memories and cannot make such assertions without knowing them to be lies. Something he would rather not do.
"They're on different sides of a conflict." He begins delicately, trying to untangle the complicated threads of history. "And I can only tell you what I know secondhand as this is a battle I've not been in myself." And really, he wishes to be as fair as possible — even though his bias for Thrawn is present.
"Thrawn is brilliant at what he does and it makes sense his opposition would dislike him for that." Still, Eli's admiration for Thrawn and his fondness cannot be hidden — though he tries to tone it down. "He cares about civilian casualties but at the heart of it he's a warrior and if you decide to fight him he will not show mercy. Though that is, from what I understand, the way of the Chiss too."
For her part, Chise could be considered distantly aware that Thrawn had a use for her. The catch was she was completely fine with that. On some level she knew this whole disconnect Eli and others like him experienced meant the playing field had changed.
That Thrawn was too smart to do something on a grand scale. That didn't mind being a pawn, as long as no one else got hurt.
"Hmmm," Chise hummed along the rim of her mug. A listening sound; not dismissive, just letting Eli know she was hearing him and with rapt attention.
"I know you're like me," She said after a long time. "But you're a little bit more like mister Jarrus."
There wasn't a lot Chise could say about a galaxy far, far away. She had seen some of its darkest hours through the eyes of scared boy scarcely her age. Going on that and hearsay was walking a dangerous line.
Could these people even afford to sow dissent in a world that wasn't even their own? War was beyond her, really.
"And Hera and Thrawn are two sides of the same coin."
Eli didn't want to fight a war here and certainly not the one from home. That sort of decisions wasn't up to him, unless he decided to cut ties with both factions as much as possible. Something he was reluctant to even consider because Eli - for better or for worse - genuinely liked both sides. Even if he was secretly glad the Empire had lost.
To be frank, Eli considers Kanan a better person than he by far.
"Are they? I don't know her well, just a memory and a brief network conversation." Thrawn's other side of the same coin. Eli was filled with curiosity, perhaps he could seek her out and see. That would be a step forward in understanding the Lothal conflict as well. Not just as a story but as a strategist should.
And there went Eli's tea again, accidentally spilled by the question posed. At this point in time, Eli is certain that Thrawn does not reciprocate their all-encompassing everything (something he would realise was quite the mistake after speaking with Thrawn).
Admitting love was easy, admitting that it was more than love was impossible at this point in time.
"Sure. In the same way you love Elias, I imagine."
She ducks her head. One corner of her mouth pulls taught in a smile that strained at her jaw and demonstrated frustration without malice. Someone on either side wanted a friend, but she found their reasoning hollow.
If it were up to here, a double-blind of who was who would be the safest method of keeping this galactic pisssing contest away from everyone else. Unfortunately, she had neither the influence nor the moxy. Instead, she focused on Eli. He was demonstrably safe, and kind; he and questions she didn't retch to answer.
"Hera is level headed but doesn't let pragmatism interfere with kindness," Chise observed. "Whereas all I know of Thrawn is he's kind but Hera hates him."
Hence, a problem.
"I told Thrawn I wouldn't let enemies cross our threshold," Which now felt like a dangerous promise, she was resigned -
"If you love him like I do Elias, I sort of pity you."
Eli considers Chise's words, fingers clenching briefly at the mention of anyone hating Thrawn. Logical as it was, the knowledge of it made Eli's defensiveness rise — even if Thrawn didn't care whether a rebel or two hated him. He had dealt with subordinates and superiors hating him by virtue of simply existing.
"You would have to ask the Admiral about it. I don't know Hera but my best guess is that he is making life very difficult for them back home." A clear understatement and Eli willed himself to relax his fingers.
"That's kind of you, I imagine he has more than a few here." And while Thrawn would no doubt have precautions, Chise's abilities were a certain safety net. As for himself, Eli wasn't worried, no one was going to come after him. They might come after Hux, but if so Force help them because Kylo Ren was powerful. "The most that can be done for the factions from our world is to agree to a cease fire of sorts."
Eli isn't offended by that final remark. "No point, unless you're wary of your feelings towards Elias."
Whatever the Empire was; who the faces were behind it, what they were, or what they did it didn't really matter. Not here, not really. The only conclusion Chise could come to was she didn't like it. For really no other reason than it was making keeping the few friendships she was forging difficult.
Selfish, maybe. Only it was clearly hurting those involved on both sides.
Chise slumped back into her chair and practically hid behind her mug. Savoring the last bit of spiced tea and pretending the steam was what was making her eyes feel damp. She wasn't a bright girl, not by any stretch. Not choosing her words carefully had made her defensive and prickly.
"Pity isn't the right word," She said. "More like...I don't like seeing a friend hurt."
How are you and Hera so happy? She had asked Kanan that, not to long ago. Apparently people can just share the experiences and feelings with one another. Go figure.
It was not hard to encompass why the Empire's conflicts still cast their shadow here. Some of the people from his galaxy had never known peace, others died horribly or witnesses atrocities that would fuel nightmares for the rest of their lives.
The history Eli has been able to piece together seems like a continuous tragedy with brief respites of peace. He's glad to be on Csilla. Not so glad Thrawn decided to stay in the Empire.
Sometimes, a little bit of selfishness is okay.
Eli is easily read, he would deny being hurt but it was in poor taste to lie so blatantly when Chise had seen his near attempt to hurl himself down the stairs just to escape. "Don't worry about it. Sometimes you can't fix things."
Once again he turns to his tea, hopefully this time to savour it rather than choke in surprise by unexpected questions.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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"Mhm hm," Chise hummed her ascent as she fell in step beside him.
"Thank you for this," She said. "I've been curious about what's around here but I don't like walking around by myself."
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Oh well.
Novi is owned by Wanda, and all Eli really understood about the food is that it is not traditional from this part and that it is delicious.
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While it was true Thrawn might need a little time out in the fresh air after what he had been through, Chise wasn't the best candidate. She had only gotten cross with him on Eli's behalf. She didn't have it in her to make lightning strike twice, so to speak.
"Ah-" Chise was momentarily awed by Novi when they came across it. Made up of open glass windows and wood gave the place a very open but rustic feel to it. She was already kicking herself for not finding out about this place sooner.
"Much nicer than the place I work," She said while looking over the menu. "Oh, Eastern European? It's not like home, but I like this sort of food. What do you recommend?"
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Eli was scanning the menu, "Uh, well, I just pick something new every time I come here. Right now, I'm at —" He pointed vaguely at something, "— that one, so. I'll take that, but so far everything here is good."
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At a loss with the menu, Chise just ordered whatever Eli had before finding a seat. With the bakery set up in a way that it was all open windows and wide space, they were lucky to find a little corner table in the back.
"So what do you want to know?" She asked, comfortable enough with this small pocket of privacy they found.
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It's harder than he'd like, Eli deliberates his words and settles for half truth half diplomacy. "I want to know everything you're willing to share, but only as long as you're not uncomfortable."
What Eli theorises is that they have more than a few things in common. He wants to test this hypothesis.
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"I'm dying."
Nothing in the way Chise admits this isn't touched by much if any emotion. Shoulders slightly slumped forward, attention more preoccupied with stirring milk in her tea, Chise just carries through as though she were complaining about a difficult exam coming up.
"Elias said I had about three years shortly after he..." Chise chews the inside of her lip as she worked out how to explain that part of her life, "Found me. What I can do wrecks the body over a short period of time, and he took me in to experiment with ways to forestall it. Before that, I was drifting in and out of places filled with people who thought I was strange and unlucky."
The tea was actually really good, she thought. Taking a moment from unloading her life story on an acquaintance to see if that was cardamom she was tasting.
"Elias wanted to understand people, and I just wanted a chance to be useful for once. No one else wanted me, and none of Elias's peers care for him either." She continued after a spell.
"We're pariahs, I guess."
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That was.
Oh.
What stunned Eli more was the blasé way in which Chise mentioned this. As if truly was of no importance; Eli is familiar with combat, as part of the military he is liable to get injured or killed. He's never thought about it in depth, partially because under Thrawn's guidance he trusted him to not get Eli or the rest of the crew killed.
And Elias did what the fucking flying kriffing hell?
His expression remains carefully neutral except for the steady climb of his eyebrows as Chise goes on. There were undeniable parallels between Thrawn and Elias but this?
He was going to have words with Thrawn about Chise at some point. For her well-being. It wasn't pity but a sort of indignation skirting the edges of anger, a very Eli reaction when confronted with clearly unfair things.
Mentally listing what he ought to say in reply, Eli found his choices unsatisfactory. His powers couldn't heal or bring back the dead, and his reassurances had been surely given to Chise by other people before.
"Elias is not the only one who wants you now."
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"I suppose I- hmm?"
The way Eli was looking at her slammed the breaks on her train of thought. For a Moment, she thought she did something wrong.
"Elias is not the only one who wants you now."
Chise blinked while the rest of her froze solid save for the stuttering feeling in her heart. She thought of Kanan, and all the others here who had greeted her. Spoken with her. Included her.
Now that Eli was saying as much, she was starting to believe that.
"That's kind of you," She replied almost reluctantly before going back to her tea. "I didn't mean to alarm you, really. If anything I think being here is stalling things."
Chancing a smile, she says, "Thrawn is lucky to have a friend like you."
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Again, Eli is unsure of what to say — he sort of feels like he put his foot in his mouth by asking Chise about her past. Regardless of how accepting she seems to be of it, it had to be more complicated than that.
He takes a sip of his tea, not bothering to put sugar or milk, and nearly chokes on the lucky and friend. Oh.
Oh.
Well.
"Honestly? I'm the lucky one to have been able to learn from him. Elias is lucky to know you." Whether he deserved to was debatable to Eli right now.
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Passing a napkin over Eli's way when his tea doesn't go down as smooth as it should, Chise offered an apologetic little smile.
She doesn't really want to approach the topic of Elias right now. So it was with a pang of guilt she asked,
"Eli...why do Hera and Kanan hate Thrawn?"
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Between them they are carefully passing and deflecting questions and topics; Eli can tell and he is pretty sure so can she. It is not a problem.
The first instinct is to get defensive. Story of Eli's life: getting angry at people who misjudge Thrawn.
Eli would have liked to be able to say that their hate has no basis. That Thrawn is simply doing his duty as required by the Imperial Navy. Unfortunately, Eli has seen Kanan's memories and cannot make such assertions without knowing them to be lies. Something he would rather not do.
"They're on different sides of a conflict." He begins delicately, trying to untangle the complicated threads of history. "And I can only tell you what I know secondhand as this is a battle I've not been in myself." And really, he wishes to be as fair as possible — even though his bias for Thrawn is present.
"Thrawn is brilliant at what he does and it makes sense his opposition would dislike him for that." Still, Eli's admiration for Thrawn and his fondness cannot be hidden — though he tries to tone it down. "He cares about civilian casualties but at the heart of it he's a warrior and if you decide to fight him he will not show mercy. Though that is, from what I understand, the way of the Chiss too."
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That Thrawn was too smart to do something on a grand scale. That didn't mind being a pawn, as long as no one else got hurt.
"Hmmm," Chise hummed along the rim of her mug. A listening sound; not dismissive, just letting Eli know she was hearing him and with rapt attention.
"I know you're like me," She said after a long time. "But you're a little bit more like mister Jarrus."
There wasn't a lot Chise could say about a galaxy far, far away. She had seen some of its darkest hours through the eyes of scared boy scarcely her age. Going on that and hearsay was walking a dangerous line.
Could these people even afford to sow dissent in a world that wasn't even their own? War was beyond her, really.
"And Hera and Thrawn are two sides of the same coin."
Then, with all her usual curiosity and bluntness:
"Do you love him?"
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To be frank, Eli considers Kanan a better person than he by far.
"Are they? I don't know her well, just a memory and a brief network conversation." Thrawn's other side of the same coin. Eli was filled with curiosity, perhaps he could seek her out and see. That would be a step forward in understanding the Lothal conflict as well. Not just as a story but as a strategist should.
And there went Eli's tea again, accidentally spilled by the question posed. At this point in time, Eli is certain that Thrawn does not reciprocate their all-encompassing everything (something he would realise was quite the mistake after speaking with Thrawn).
Admitting love was easy, admitting that it was more than love was impossible at this point in time.
"Sure. In the same way you love Elias, I imagine."
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If it were up to here, a double-blind of who was who would be the safest method of keeping this galactic pisssing contest away from everyone else. Unfortunately, she had neither the influence nor the moxy. Instead, she focused on Eli. He was demonstrably safe, and kind; he and questions she didn't retch to answer.
"Hera is level headed but doesn't let pragmatism interfere with kindness," Chise observed. "Whereas all I know of Thrawn is he's kind but Hera hates him."
Hence, a problem.
"I told Thrawn I wouldn't let enemies cross our threshold," Which now felt like a dangerous promise, she was resigned -
"If you love him like I do Elias, I sort of pity you."
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"You would have to ask the Admiral about it. I don't know Hera but my best guess is that he is making life very difficult for them back home." A clear understatement and Eli willed himself to relax his fingers.
"That's kind of you, I imagine he has more than a few here." And while Thrawn would no doubt have precautions, Chise's abilities were a certain safety net. As for himself, Eli wasn't worried, no one was going to come after him. They might come after Hux, but if so Force help them because Kylo Ren was powerful. "The most that can be done for the factions from our world is to agree to a cease fire of sorts."
Eli isn't offended by that final remark. "No point, unless you're wary of your feelings towards Elias."
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Selfish, maybe. Only it was clearly hurting those involved on both sides.
Chise slumped back into her chair and practically hid behind her mug. Savoring the last bit of spiced tea and pretending the steam was what was making her eyes feel damp. She wasn't a bright girl, not by any stretch. Not choosing her words carefully had made her defensive and prickly.
"Pity isn't the right word," She said. "More like...I don't like seeing a friend hurt."
How are you and Hera so happy? She had asked Kanan that, not to long ago. Apparently people can just share the experiences and feelings with one another. Go figure.
no subject
The history Eli has been able to piece together seems like a continuous tragedy with brief respites of peace. He's glad to be on Csilla. Not so glad Thrawn decided to stay in the Empire.
Sometimes, a little bit of selfishness is okay.
Eli is easily read, he would deny being hurt but it was in poor taste to lie so blatantly when Chise had seen his near attempt to hurl himself down the stairs just to escape. "Don't worry about it. Sometimes you can't fix things."
Once again he turns to his tea, hopefully this time to savour it rather than choke in surprise by unexpected questions.